One Thing

“A Legacy of Love” was the theme of my Aunty’s memorial service held a few days ago.

Aunty lost her father when she was three, married at 21 and mothered nine children. Despite her humble background of lack and poverty, we didn’t – and still don’t – hear stories of despair, despondency and disappointment. Rather, we hear about her life of faith, hope and vitality, even after she passed away at the age of 76.

Growing up without a father made her learn to be street-wise and fend for herself and her mother. She took up all kinds of jobs just to make sure that the family survived.

When she had a family of her own, the 11 of them lived in a rented one-room flat. There was a New Year’s Eve where she called for a family meeting, and announced that the whole family had only one dollar left. She chose to spend the last dollar to give her husband a haircut so that he would usher the New Year with a decent look.

Her children would always remember her for her trust and confidence in them. When asked for advice, she would always tell them to decide for themselves and to express confidence in their choices. She would accommodate to their schedule with little regard to her own – and was always there when the children needed her.

She was also ready to be inconvenient so she could reach out to those outside the family. Friends would remember her as a sacrificial person – always ready to lend a hand or a listening ear.

When she passed away, she was half-way through a six-month counselling course that was conducted in English. Despite her being unable to understand or read English, her passion led her take up a counselling course so that she could listen to people who are 10 to 15 years younger than her. She even took it once step further – and travelled to different parts of the world, including the States, alone.

At 76, she also enrolled in a school to learn how to dance. Yes, she lived a full life and literally danced her way into heaven.

Looking back at her legacy of love, family, friends and relatives would always remember her for one thing: she gave love unconditionally.

At the end of 2010, if there was only one thing your friends and family could remember you for, I wonder what that would be.