Response Ability

I come from a humble background. We didn’t have a lot of material things when we were young. The six of us (including our parents) lived and grew up together in a rented room. Hence, I grew up with a scarcity mentality – ie this world has only “so much” and I shouldn’t ask for more.

One day, while shopping, I was given a chance in to spin the wheel in a lucky draw. I did not win anything. However, I couldn’t help but notice that inside my head was a familiar voice saying, “These are just gimmicks to cheat you of your money!”

It then dawned on me that I have a mind-set of being a victim of circumstances (which was to protect me in order to survive in this harsh world). No wonder I was feeling unlucky, pessimistic and usually blame my circumstances for anything that went wrong. The world within me was gloomy – there were no colours at all.

Then one day, I attended a course on 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Stephen Covey) and heard the word “responsibility” in the training. Now you and I have heard this word countless times over. However, this was the first time I heard “Responsibility” as response-ability. I learned then that I need not react to situations but, instead, I can to respond to situations. In other words, I am the director of my own life and I write my own life script.

In short, I realised that while the past had a deep impact on me, it does not determine my future. I can create my own future. Knowing that gave me instant freedom as I would no longer be bound by circumstances, words, labels and criticisms. In fact, everyday ought to be a new day for me. How’s that for an interpretation of “today is the first day of the rest of your life?”

Today, I am a much happier person. I believe in the “abundance mentality” where there is enough to be shared with everybody and much more.

I also believe that no matter what the circumstances may be, I can still choose to respond in a way that determines my way forward – and in that, I can act based on my inner self instead of blaming on the externals. In other words, my locus of control is now internal and not external.

I am only too aware that however I choose to respond or to react depends on what I choose to see. As Oscar Wilde said,
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
We can either (1) look down and be depressed or (2) we can look up and see the shiny stars.

Either way, we are right! (“if you think you can, you are right. If you think you can’t, you are right too~Henry Ford)